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Dexter[]

A TV series based off Jeff Lindsay's novels, about Dexter Morgan, a serial killer who kills other serial killers. Currently /tv/'s favorite tv show to obsess over, as L O S T is off-air.

Opening[]

Whitout a doubt the Dexter opening is the most boreing part of the show. Most people with DVR's usely skip the recap and opeing. The opening is average every day morning stuff in the eyes of a serial killer

Season 1[]

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The Ice Truck Killer kills lots of hookers, yet the media treats them like they are the senator's daughters. Dexter kills serial killers because his dark passanger tells him too. Dexter works up enough courage to get laided. Doakes says "SUPRIESE MOTHERFUCKER." Dexter finds out that the Ice Truck Killer is his older brother, kills his brother, and crys like the little emo bitch that he is.

Season 2[]

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Doakes becomes to Dexter what Wile E. Coyote was to the Road Runner. Dexter joins Serial Killers Anonymous, where he meets Lila. Doakes finds out that his that he was right and Dexter is a sick fuck. Doakes trys to arrest Dexter but he himself ends up his captor in a drug dealers cabin. Lila find the cabin and causes a huge explosion nearly killing Doakes. Dexter then kills Lila for being a huge cunt and then lets Doakes take all the blame for being the The Bay Harbor Butcher, but that's ok because he's black.

Season 3[]

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It fucking sucked. Mainly because Cybord Doakes has yet to appear. The only meriable part of season 3 was when Dexter kills an innocent pedo named Nathan Marten who was stalking Astor. Dexter also gets milk for Rita. All in a day's work Dex.

Season 4[]

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The Trinity Killer retruns after 30 years to Maimi to finish his cycle. Quinn turns into Doakes 2.0. Dexter finds out that the Trinity Killer is Arthur Mitchell. Instead of killing the Trinity Killer right away he lets it drag out so far that the Trinity Killer finds out who he is and kills Rita. GG Dex.

Season 5[]

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Dexter and his wife Debra are raising the kids in his apartment with some Irish nanny. Dexter also is killing anyone who fucks around with him now.

Early Cuts[]

For hardcore fans such as myself Nerds watch Early Cuts to know more about the early days of our loveable serial killer. Each webepisode contains a different comic style to it.

Alex Timmons, October 2003 - Used Iraqi civilians as target practice. Timmons was Dexter's first trophy.

Gene Marshall, June 1993 - Burned his own bulding down just for the lulz.

Cindy Landon, March 2004 - A black window who threw her old husbands down the steps.

Charcheters[]

Dexter Moser aka The Bay Harbor Butcher aka The Dark Defender aka Dexter Morgan - IRL he is a serial killer but secretly he is a lab geek. Dexter sends half of the epsiode talking in his head, which can get really fucking annoying.

Debra Morgan - Dexter's foster sister. She is the worst characher on the show. She's only on the show for fapping material.

James Doakes - An angery American American sergeant who suspected that Dexter was a serial killer despite everyone else not getting wise, thus making him the smartest person on the entire show. He loves saying motherfucker and Morgan. Doakes fate after escaping to Haiti is unkown.

Rita Bennett - Originally Dexter's girl friend, Dexter grew some balls and got her knocked up. After that they got married and and had a son. She was killed by the neighbor The Trinity Killer.

Astor, Cody, Harrison Morgan - Dexter's kids. He is currently planning on raising them to be serial killers just like him. Both Astor and Cody's biological parents death's were caused by the acts of Dexter.

Angel Batista - No relation to Fulgencio Batista. He is a Cuban cop who has terriable love life. He also talks like a three year old.

Harry Morgan - Dexter's adapoted father who trained his son to be a serial killer. After seeing that he had created a monster he became an hero. Despite being dead Harry shows up in just about every episode in his ghost form.

Vince Masuka - He is half Japanese and Dexter's lab geek partner. He is also the funniest guy on the entire show. Masuka loves country music, monster cars, and perverted stuff. He is also the LFI, the Lead Forensic Investigator.

Maria LaGuerta - Cuban bitch. Her hobbies inculde harraseing Debra, fucking Doakes, aruging with Tom Mathews, and filtering with Dexter.

Super Agent Frank Lundy - An FBI agent who ironicly never suspected Dexter was a serial killer. He came to Mami to find the Bay Harbor Butcher. When it becomes clear that he will never find him he just blames it on Doakes. Lundy returns in season 4 to find The Trinity Killer. Debra also fucks his old fossical. Lundy meets his end at the hands of a fucking news reporter.

Tom Mathews - Deputy Chief of Mami Metro PD. He was Harry's friend back in the olden days. He then watched after Harry's kids after he was gone. He reguarly gets in fights with LaGuerta.

Joey Quinn - He is a shittier whitter Irish version of Doakes. Much like Doakes he loves picking on lab geeks, such as Dexter.

Christine Hill - She's the Trinity Killer's daughter. Christine used Joey much like Rudy used Debra in season 1. It is disputed weither or not she knows her father's acutal name. She became an hero after realizing that dady never loved her.

Paul Bennett - Father of the fucking year. He was the biological father of Astor and Cody. He was sent to jail after Dexter framed him because he was setting in his terf. He got pwned in prison.

Camilla Figg - One of Harry's friend. Much like Tom she knows alot about Dexter's past. She also knows that Dexter is a serial killer and asks Dexter to put her out of her misery which he obliged to.

Ice Truck Killer aka Rudy Cooper aka Brian Moser - Dexter's biolgical brother despite being Mexican. Despite both brothers being royaly fucked up by their mother's death they were both seperated and Brian was sent to an insane asythum. He had a really creepy fetish with body parts.

Little Miss Pardon My Tits aka Lila Tournay aka Lila West - Dexter's soul mate. She is an English vamprie. She loves Dexter so much that she trys to kill him. Dexter then returns the favor and kills her.

Miguel Prado - Dexter's BBF. Dexter killed his brother, teached him to be a serial killer, and drove his other brother insane. GG Dex. Miguel is well know for speaking in ALL CAPS. Despite Miguel being the assistant district attorney he, his wife, and family are never mentioned before or after season 3, proofing that season 3 was fucking useless.

Trinity Killer aka Arthur Mitchell - Dexter's biological father Dexter's rivial. He was a serial killer for 30 years and he would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for that meddling Dexter. Much like Dexter, he too has had a icestuous relationship with his sister.

The Code[]

Disregard that. Dexter is going rouge this season.

Quotes[]

"MIIIIIGGGUUEEELLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" - Dexter

"It's who you know and who you blow." - Doakes

"Shut up cunt." - Arthur Mitchell

"Vastly overrated." - Masuka

"The tits are right there." - Dexter

"Stop grinning like a fucking psyco and get back to work." - Doakes

"It's gonna be crazy good." - Angel

"You getting a God dam hard on there Morgan?" - Doakes

"No one's raping anyone." - Dexter

"Even I'm disturbed by this." - Dexter

"It would fuck up your rep and make me look like a winey bitch." - Doakes

"I am the last person you want to fuck with, because I will FUCK YOU BACK! In ways you never even imagined." - Miguel

"I can explain all that shemale stuff." - Masuka

"I need uniform, back up, forensic, fuck it just send everyone." - Doakes

"Fucking Albert Chung." - Masuka

"Fucking Albert Chung." - Miguel

"That's it, no more donuts for Masuka." - Dexter

"But what I haven't told you about is the time I kicked the shit out of him and knocked him down a flight of stairs and I really enjoyed it." - Miguel

"SUPRISE MOTHERFUCKER." - Doakes

"Because you're like a retarded puppy." - Angel

"Lead fucking investigator; translation everyone's bitch." - Masuka

"I GOT CITY FUCKING HALL! - Miguel

"They said that stain would come out!" - Dexter

"Romeo if this is your idea of a romatic weekend, your going to be a bacular for a very long time." - Masuka

"You me, after work, were gonna go hit something hard." - Miguel

"Can we please secure this motherfucking crime scene?" - Doakes

"Ho ho ho, another dead ho." - Masuka

"You go after killers, you get killers, I get that, but this, this is some sick fuck ritual man and you need help." - Doakes

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